I participated in the PastoraLab Northeast/Southeast virtual cohort in 2022-2024. Every Asian American group or event I have participated in or created has been unique, and this one is also very special in its own way. 

I particularly appreciated our group’s comfort with silence. American people, especially those of the dominant culture, seem to talk incessantly, almost like a competition. It is well known that they often skip over us minorities. In my Japanese culture, a brief silence, or ma, is expected in conversation. It gives us time to listen, breathe, and respond rather than reacting immediately. This is a respectful way to give a thoughtful response rather than just stating our opinions. 

My PastoraLab friends practice this. 

In the summer of 2023, we participated in the PastoraLab retreat in Southern California. One early evening, we, several women Christian leaders of Asian heritage, were sitting around a table on the rooftop while smiling in delicious silence. There was a gentle breeze, and the sky was clear. I can still feel this beautiful moment in my mind’s eye as though it happened yesterday.

Our trust has been built through our monthly virtual meetings. And we had just experienced powerful worship with other groups of women Christian leaders of Asian heritage from around the country. There was no need to speak. I was content and at peace in the moment.

When I first met my cohort, they looked ordinary obasan, an aunt or middle-aged woman just like me, and onēsan, an older sister or a young woman. And their unassuming manners made me feel at ease. 

Yet we are pastors, teachers, spiritual directors, chaplains, educators, musicians, and so many more.

Our cohort had another retreat at Columbia Theological Seminary in Decatur, GA in the fall of 2023. After studying together, making flower arrangements, and eating good food, we visited the Sunday service led by our member. I was blown away. My friend, who looks like me was preaching with authority in front of the traditionally-looking, white church. 

We recently had our last retreat, this time in Durham, NC, close to my home. We stayed at an AirBnB, and one of the things we did was to cook for each other. Unexpectedly, this was one of the best times of my PastoraLab experience. 

One day, two Korean pastors were busy slicing vegetables and preparing shrimps while the rest of us gathered around the kitchen and talked about our lives. This felt so ordinary and so heart-warming at the same time.

When I reflected on our cultural context, I realized how instrumental it was for my learning and growth. Initially, I was somewhat disappointed by the curriculum because I had read both The Tao of Asian American Belonging on my own and The Practice of Adaptive Leadership in one of many family systems theory classes I took in the last ten years. Is there anything left for me to learn?

I was utterly wrong. The Tao of Asian American Belonging came alive when read with the community in which its wisdoms and complexities were present in each of our bodies, hearts, minds, and spirits in unique ways. As for the other book, the group I read it with ten years ago was almost all white with constant white gaze. In the context of the PastoraLab, I could bring my whole self to the (Zoom) table. In addition, I was delighted to discover many notes on the margins of the book.

I am thankful for ISAAC, Innovative Space for Asian American Christianity for bringing us together through the PastoraLab Program. We learned, grew, and supported each other in our transitions, and celebrated each other’s milestones. We have every intention to stay in touch. I trust that ISAAC will continue to build and nurture communities of Asian American Christian women who aspire to ministry careers so that we can thrive and shine our light in the world.

Written by Yuri Yamamoto, PastoraLab Graduate 2024